好啦开玩笑。我。回。来。了！
看来我常回来也未尝是件好事，心情不好才会想到来发牢骚 （布豪意素啦厚）
才发现，太长篇也太夜，不改了。晚安。
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Long, long time ago (Woii), there's a girl named O. She went to school, played games, joined sports like every ordinary girls did. This is life, she thinks.
Years passed, she gradually knew that, every single living things, even the non-living creatures, have their own differences that some could tell, some you wouldn't notice for your whole life.
Yea, every individuals have their own way of logical thinking, their own ways in acceptance of things and facts. Ones wouldn't simply changes the others'.
O tends to be an outsider. She observes, listens, and sometimes speaks and share her thoughts. She likes to be a listener, thus she eventually feels comfortable when stick around with the storyteller (Oops). She loves stories, that'll let her understand more on how the world spin (Errr).
One day, O meets G. G introduces F and M to O and here's the story begins.
G, F and M likes to express their negative feelings which O thinks that make sense and acceptable. Human needs some ways to express their negative thought to keep themselves from climbing up a cliff
O is new to this world, still in the stage of observing on how this world runs. Thus, as always, and since she's already got her head wet (...), she sits and listens to the stories and did nothing. X was nice to her and she have no idea what X done to G, F and M.
Days passed and fire of the gang to X just got fiercer. O realised that she will no longer have the chance to tell nor to distinguish the wild fire between 4 of them. "Great", is the only word O can think of, to describe her situation (Of course you know it's sarcastic right? So I wouldn't have to clarify every time). O just try to be herself, do whatever she have to, say whatever she needs to, keep silent whenever she can.
Months after, G, F and M leave the world, left O, X, few old and new friends in this little world. The gang were still in contact. They chat and bullshit sometimes, hang out etc. Somehow O starts to get tired of these back-stab, negative thoughts. She tends to get faded out from the gang but due to the soft-hearted, silly-scare-will-hurt-gang's-feeling thought, she stays and bullshitting again.
Maybe that'll be better to just left the gang right when they leave this little world, but O missed the chance so... yea, O deserves it.
Now, months later, G and F asks O to hang out together, M couldn't join due to some reason. O wants to reject at first, but that stupid-don't-hurt-anyone feeling back again. She thought that "now people are asking you out, be respect, dude" (Yea, O is a bitch, but you have to know, O just knew the gang for less than half a year, "respect stuff" will still exist for sure..?). So three of them have set a date and O is then looking forward for the day happily, excited-ly.
Two days before the date, F inform O that G not able to make it for the dinner in the newly created group with just three of them. Then, out of expectation that F suddenly ask O a question : Do you have any secret that you haven't or never told us?
"Here it comes", O thinks. So she reply half heartedly "Everyone have their secret, and since it's a 'secret', I bet nobody will tells..? *sweat*"
F continue with : About you and X.
So, since you asked, like finally, O answer sincerely "Yup, we knew long time ago, in the old big world"
Here comes G, sending out every words that would disappoint O. G claims that O is a lier, lied for such a long time etc. While F joins, firing together towards O.
O expected some reaction from them, but no that, you know, extreme. "WTF, you, G, were with me most of the time when you're still in this little world. YOU SHOULD KNOW MY PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER! I'll never spread gossip, never spread news acquired from you all to ANYONE in that little world, even after you all leave me alone here!" Then, O reply few messages with contents similar to phrase above, except the wtf and capslocks. She got tired and get her heads back to whatever she's been doing.
Bout half an hour later, she check back the messages. G still firing after O's explanations (or some would say that's idiocy-self-defence-nonsense), F seems start to cool down and explain that, actually they were going to ask face-to-face in the date, but they still care bout the friendship (U think), so they cancelled it and ask thru messages here (Well, that helped, so you think O will feels better on this and say thanks). So does that means F and G plans to fire O face-to-face at the first place, with M, but THANKS to them that cares the friendship and cancelled the face-to-face firing session? Well, thanks you very much. O mumbling.
Then O notice the notification of other messages that she missed. Great, these were from the larger gang group chat. Check back the time, G straight went there and share the good news : SHE FINALLY ADMITTED IT!!
Booms~ Here she stepped on O's mines. "WTF do you mean by 'Finally admitted it'? I never deny nor say I'm a totally stranger to X. So, just because I never mention it, then I'm lying? You f*cking idiot. You were with me for months, you shoulda know who I am, what I'll do and I don't. But now you're the first to keep shooting me and throw grenades etc.
"Well, think the other way round, if I were in your place: I'll get disappointed that you didn't tell me, why don't you believe me that I can accept that fact because I KNOW YOUR PERSONALITY. IF, you say you don't know me, then why the hell you wanna drag me into your little gang all these while?
From what you said, I'm now clearly know that you do know my relationship with X, not in the first day, but long enough.WHO.IS.LYING.NOW? You were pretending you're the innocent poor little female lead in this movie that got bullied by the big bad wolf, but in fact you're just acting poor and wait the wolf to step on the trap and get all its skin, meat, bone for benefit.
"Good show, girl, GOOD SHOW. Lesson learnt."
O actually has quite high level in EQ, as long as you didn't mess with her baseline, then you're safe. G did it. G has finally discovered her baseline, first in the gang (Claps). O hates to be being wronged. You may insult her, beat her to hell but now this.
So, O leaves a last message "I'm just being myself all these while, believe it or not. I'm leaving this group to your pleasure", and left the group. Still, the stupid-thoughts, she stays in the minor group chat. F starts to explain, G keeps silent, and O try to explain (She shouldn't). M try to get to O in another private message, great, M still sounds human. And after few conversation with F in minor group, heat seems starts to distinguish (F never burn wild fire, just mild-mild-fire), G pops out. With one last message : OK, I think we all need to cool down, I'm tired of being sounds like the bad guy.
*shuuuu~* fled away. Conversation ended. *Ka-boom-boom-boom*
So, wtf does this message means? O wouldn't care much now, she's immune to everything for this topic. Get back to her little world again, finding her music cure, gets head back down to things she's been doing, and, forget. She thinks.
Now, great, O can care nothing bout that old little gang. End of story.
Lesson learnt :
Ones can never please everyone, although we knew this theory for long time, it's still never been practiced.
Just be yourself all the time, don't let the world pollute your mind. The harder theory to apply. I'll always be polluted (So I'm hating myself all the time).
Last but not least, You Only Live Once, live your life as how you wanted. We couldn't please everyone, but we should at least please ourselves. You live your life, you can assist others but not guide all their ways to their end. Guide your own, dude.
